Open vs. Closed Adoption

We finally told our extended family we are adopting. Of course they are thrilled and can't wait. My cousins already fighting over babysitting :) It makes my heart happy that my family is so accepting of adoption, because a lot of people do not understand - especially with open adoption. 

What is open adoption? 

Open adoption means that there is someone sort of ongoing contact with the birthparent(s) and the adoptive family. Open adoption allows for different levels of involvement and communication among birthparent(s), adoptive parents, and children. The degree of openness is entirely up to both families. In an open adoption, there are a variety of levels of openness. They range from talking on the phone or meeting the adoptive parents before placement. After placement it can include continued contact that includes pictures, emails, letters, or visits. Open adoption can be called semi-open or open. Semi open would just be picture updates by email/letters a few times a year and open would be actual visits and more contact throughout the year. 

What is closed adoption? 

Close adoption means that the birthparent(s) do not want any contact with the family they choose to adopt their child. The birthparent(s) may pick the family by their "Dear birthparent" letter so they know what they look like, but they do not share personal information with them and do not talk to them. If they want complete closed adoption, they may not even want to look at letters at all and know nothing about who adopts their child. In this case, my agency selects the family that has been waiting the longest to be fair. 

What do we want for adoption? 

We would love to have an open adoption! I want the child to know where he or she came from. We are absolutely fine with giving updates and even having meetings with the birthparent(s). I hope to have a great relationship with the birthparent(s) and their families too if they want to be involved. We plan to be very honest with our child that he or she is adopted. We feel that having the birthparent(s) in the picture, it will be easier for the child to understand. He or she will know how he/she is loved so much by so many people. Obviously there will be boundaries, but we are hoping to become family with the birthparent(s). We are also absolutely fine with a closed adoption if that is what the birthparent(s) choose, but we would share our information if the birthparent(s) want to contact us later in life.