Moving Forward

We have decided to move forward. I'm terrified and excited at the same time. We haven't told many people the plan, so this is very vague. I'll update soon with the details of our decision. 

I still get nervous that the world is telling me that I shouldn't be a mother because of all of the failure...but I know that it is irrational to think that. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mother since I was a young girl. It's so hard that to think that I may not. I keep wondering if I am making a wrong decision moving forward. 

Then on the other hand, I get super excited and can't wait. I guess the roller coaster of emotions is normal. 

I hate being judged and getting judged by the decision. I don't want to tell people, because I don't want to hear the complaints of my decision....as if it wasn't hard enough to make! My family is also a VERY hopeful and involved family. I can't take the constant questions and them telling me I'll be a mother. Because, it's very possible that I never will. I'm hoping to be, but I've learned that what you expect is never what you get. 

So there's my vague post! More to come soon....