Moving forward...

Last time I posted, I was going through IVF #3. That IVF cycle, they put in three embryos. None took. I was devastated and did not know what to do or where to go to next. We did end up with two embryos to freeze - the first time ever! I decided to take a cycle off and grieve before moving on to my FET.

In that month, I contacted several adoption agencies. One that I felt comfortable with because a coworker had used them twice. Well, things were going well and they we were going to do the orientation meeting. Then, bad news came. I shouldn't be surprised anymore, because bad news seems to be all around me. Anyways, apparently Caucasian infant adoption is on the decline. They are not accepting new families at this time because of it. So I contacted others - and they said the same thing. Apparently I can't have a baby naturally or via adoption. It's easy for everyone to say, "Why don't you go get one from Ethiopia or overseas?" Well, that's not what we want. I want an infant - a Caucasian infant. And at this time in my journey - I'm not ready to accept anything else. I want an infant - not a three year old. Yes, I'm aware I could adopt easier if I wasn't being "picky." I'm also not ready to accept that I can't have one myself either.

So this cycle we went through a FET. It was very easy to go through - and I pretty much forgot I was going through treatment. Both of our embryos made the defrost. Thank goodness! They did lose cells - but this is apparently normal. They were frozen on day 3 at 5A and 5B. They went to a 4 and 3 upon defrost. But, they were able to grow cells back and were transferred as a 6A and 5B. Hopefully this means they are strong. My beta test is on Oct. 30th. I'm trying to be optimistic that this time it will work...

I was not super cautious this time around. Last cycle, I was on bed rest for 4 days. I lived in a bubble. I refused to do it again. Being cautious didn't obviously help - so I took the day of transfer off and that was it. I went back to work the next day. I am not going crazy overboard, but I am continuing to drink my tea in the morning and am not sitting on my ass all day. I don't have any regrets about my decision - I don't think it will having any determination on whether it works or not.

Symptoms thus far: 1 day after transfer - nausea, mild cramping, and low back pain


Here is a picture of my embabies: They are the bright white spot in the middle of the sideways tear drop shape (my uterus).